Im back (and kinda pessimistic)

Its been far too long since I wrote anything. I used to be quite the writer, a head full of optimism and ideals and holding my head up high. Though I’ve had quite a few great and happy things happen in my life, I’ve grown increasingly detached and upset at just the world around me…but well get to that.

In the last three years I met a amazing and wonderful person. We dated for a while, got pregnant quickly; had an amazing daughter;got married;I got promoted;moved to what will be our family home for a very long time and got pregnant again with baby number 2. I’ve had a good run of luck with life lately and personally I have reached my nirvana

With all my personal successes though it has opened my eyes more to the horrible mess that everything around me is in. Children being shot in schools, people being attacked and insulted for simply having a different opinion;people in positions of great power doing absolutely nothing to promote unity of the masses and simply inspiring anarchy and lawlessness;people being forced to starve or die simply because they dont have enough money and the rich masses getting richer off of the misery and misfortune of others.

That’s why I have decided to change my blog up. I no longer will post random musings and poetry but I will use my personal blog to support the first amendment and write my own social commentary. In this day and age its very important not to be silenced by anyone if you have something to say, be it older adults that tell you to shut up because of the generation you were born into or government officials that dont like it when people say things negative about them, be it documented truth or not.

I dont have anything to write today but will in coming days…if people read it great, if they dont then oh well and if they dont like what I say, thats the beauty of living in America, were a country of many different ideas, come together in order to form a “more perfect union”. I respect all opinions and would never condemn someone if they have a different opinion, I would just simply disagree (and name calling is just childish)

“Writing is easy, all you have to do is sit at a typewriter and bleed” Ernest Hemingway

Life is a crazy thing…

Its kind of insane to think about…one minute youre a bar hopping concert goer and the next you are thinking of a good neighborhood to move your family into…I would say that is a pretty accurate description of my life right now.

Exactly two years ago I was in a different world. I was living with my great-grandmother, not because I had to as I held a good job and was fully capable of getting a place but because I wanted to..a responsibility  of taking care of her I took on. I spent my nights off from work going to bars and drinking or playing pool with my friend and several of his friends. My dating luck was pretty bad..I was trying online dating but no real luck and I was trying to chase after someone who had completely friend zoned me…I was aimless and without a real purpose in life. Was I happy with this life? I honestly cant say I was..but I wasnt depressed, just in need of a change.

Flash-forward 2 years to 2016. As I sit here typing this, I am now an engaged man. I met the complete love of my life in late 2014 on a dating app which I installed on a whim and expected nothing from. I am sitting in my rented cottage on furniture I inherited from my Great-Grandma who passed away on Christmas almost 2 years ago. In the bedroom sleeps my beautiful Fiance… the love of my life with whom I never want to leave for as long as I live. Next to her is our amazing,gorgeous and sweet 9 month old daughter. A gift that I would never call an accident. The truly great child that her and I made together when our DNA combined and coalesced into the greatness of our daughter.

I am now a family man..I get married on August 27th. I now only go out every once in a blue moon, and I spend most of my nights hanging out and watching Netflix with the missus while we try to get our little one to sleep, I would not trade my life for anything. Our dream is to own a home and one day to retire and live out our days watching our daughter (and any future children) grow up and get married and make grandchildren….I live an amazing life, who needs to be a 20something bar hopper? it gets pretty boring anyway…

Stay safe out there (and go Team Mystic!!!)

D

To Pick A President

That time is upon us again. For the first time in 8 years, The United States Presidential Primaries and nomination process has begun anew for both the Democratic and Republican parties. I have always been fascinated with our Presidential Election season as it is just so interesting and hard not to follow.

I am not just your average voter. Though I am registered as a democrat, I will vote for the nominee that I feel is best for the country. Eight years ago I watched then Senator Barack Obama talk about his candidacy for President on The Tonight Show. I researched and followed him and voted for him in the Oregon Primary over Hilary Clinton and then again in the Presidential Election over Senator John McCain. If Clinton won the nomination I would of had no problem voting for McCain with more research and thought. I voted again for the incumbent President Obama over Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney again because I felt Romney would not make as great a President. Though my voting record and many of my beliefs indicate I am liberal, I do not let myself be defined with a political party. If something I believe in happens to be more on the conservative side, so be it.

When we entered this primary season,my liberal voting registration led me to follow the Democratic Primaries more than the Republican, but I was a little underwhelmed. Hilary Clinton was the only candidate I knew about , and I felt like Clinton still wasnt a great candidate. She seemed elitist, and like the same democratic cookie cutter candidate she was eight years ago. I have no problem at all with a woman one day being president, just not her…she isnt the right one and I felt that she is trying to use her position as a woman running for president to get votes from certain crosssections of society. I didnt feel I had a great candidate..until, Enter Bernie Sanders.

I found out about Senator Bernie Sanders from a blurb in my local paper that said he declared his candidacy. I had no idea who he was, being from a state on the other side of the country from his and even less of an idea what he stood for. So, over time I heard more and more about him so I decided to look him up, and I started to like him more and more. Then I watched him on the first debate, and through the endless pandering to Hilary Clinton that the news network covering it was doing, I saw that he was a person who stuck to his laurels and didnt change just to appease voters and I liked him more and more…so I am proud to say that I feel the bern!!!

Now I want to be clear about something..I am not supporting Bernie Sanders because he is promising me free stuff! I am not expecting to be able to go to college for free, I have health insurance through my work for my daughter and I (and my soon to be wife).I doubt that the minimum wage will ever get nationally pushed to 15 dollars an hour. I dont expect a future President Sanders to initiate a sweeping change in the US government. No, the Senate and House would prevent any change, be it good or bad from changing in this country..especially if it involves lightening their wallets.

I support Bernie Sanders because he isnt a cookie cutter Presidential Candidate. He isnt going to pander to big business or the Super PACs or even his own party (though he is in actuality an Independent).

He is a Democratic Socialist, and before you say “Isnt that like communism?” look it up. Franklin Delano Roosevelt, one of the best Presidents in history was a Democratic Socialist. Now I am in no way insinuating that Sanders will be another FDR but that people should really do their research before making assumptions.

Bernie Sanders is a rogue (but not in the same “in your face” way as Republican candidate Donald Trump). He doesnt follow the Democratic Party hard line and that is refreshing to me..because in the last 16 years of 8 years of Bush and 8 years of Obama, very little has changed in the US..and if this Government is not gonna collapse in on itself it needs to

Feel the Bern,

D

Unwritten guides to fatherhood

Life has a funny way of catching up to you..and by catching up I mean roaring up from behind in a Porsche and screeching to a halt in front of you. Here I sit, almost exactly 2 months away from the birth of my daughter…from my first child..and I ponder what it means to be a father.

When we look for examples of what fatherhood means, most people often look to examples close to home, as in lessons from our own parental figures.

My father, Lon was a good father to me, and he still is. He has 4 children, myself, who is his oldest and im 26;my younger brother who is 24, my stepsister who he adopted as his own and as far as we are all concerned she is my sister and she is 23 and my youngest half-brother who is 17. Dad has always had to work, for as long as I have been alive he has worked 6 days a week for long hours in order to best provide for our family. Even when my brother and I lived with our mom and we were only with him part time he worked like that. Dad makes a lot of personal sacrifices in order to best keep the family safe,healthy and happy, and one would think that is what a father would do and has to do.

When I was younger I don’t think I fully appreciated everything Dad did for us. I was a teenager and I didnt have everything that a lot of my peers in high school had..no Ipod,no cell phone and I had to earn the right to get my permit and license(which I never did with him, I got it when I turned 18). I wasnt upset about this, I didnt lash out and rebel but I was jealous of my peers and wished we could afford to get all those luxuries but I stayed grounded.

I think what it means to be a father is to be able to put your child and your family above all else, including yourself and often at the expense of your health, wealth and own personal happiness. To work long hours, come home and take care of what you need to and then go to sleep until you are needed again. My father always did this, and I never really appreciated it until now that I am on the cusp of being a father myself.

Will I be successful at being a father? I would hope I would but only time will tell. I am however very excited about it, and am having no delusions of grandeur about running from this or skirting my new responsibilities. My daughter, Mikaila Ann Knieriem will come into the world and be very loved by everyone around her, and especially by her father and mother. I still have some time to prepare for her birth physically and mentally (not even close to the physically as her mother though ha ha)

So to sum it all up, I am so happy for the lessons on fatherhood I learned from my own father and all the other fathers I have been around in my life. I will take their lessons to heart but my parenting style will be my own..good or bad I will pass this test..after all I have to

have a good day

D

Your 20s and how people perceive them

Hi, my name is Devin. I am twenty six years old, in a long term relationship that is going on 9 months (and is definitely leading to more) and here I sit 2 months and some days away from the birth of my girlfriend and my first child..a daughter we named Mikaila Ann, and I am perfectly happy with how things turned out.

Ever since I actually turned twenty years old all I hear about is how your twenties are supposed to be spent (especially after you turn 21) Many people have the idea that your twenties are supposed to be a time of discovery;of having fun with almost all legal restrictions that are on minors lifted. I still know a fair amount of people that like to spend their nights bar hopping in Downtown Eugene and drinking shots and expensive beers and taking a cab home (if they go to their home….). In all honesty I was never really suited for that life..the partying life that many other 20somethings like to live..Dont get me wrong, I did my share of it.

Before I met Sahalie and started down this current path I am on, I wasnt exactly your standard young adult anyway. I had trouble finding a good job until I was 23 and found my current job and also up until last December I was living and helping to take care of my elderly Great-Grandmother. When I did go out, in some cases I would go out by myself and see a rock show downtown, drink a couple beers and go home by 11 or 1130. On some occasions, one of my best friends would invite me out for a night with some of his friends to go out drinking. The people we went out with were his friends…its not that I felt unwanted, but I most of the time felt unnoticed, and that is simply because they didnt know me very well. Im sure that I could of gotten to know most of these people better but my working nights only gave me two night a week to go out doing anything, and it was mostly one night because my first night off would be reserved for me catching up on sleep.

Still yet when I would go out, I would never drink very much. I still lived with my grandmother and I felt it disrespectful to stumble in the house, drunk and pass out on the floor. I was so careful about my alcohol intake that I would use an app on my phone to keep track of my alcohol intake and my Blood Alcohol Intake.

My point of writing this being that I was never suited to the fast partying, loose and fun lifestyle that seems to be almost advertised (in media) as the way to be in your twenties. I was always cautious,and careful and didnt want to make a fool of myself in public. I was never suited to date around..Sahalie is my first true long term relationship and I dont honestly want anyone else. I believe I am well suited to be a father. I want it. People keep asking me “arent you freaking out, you’re young to be having a baby, and young to be a family man…you know what? I am not freaking out because whats there to freak out about! Im ready to be a father, im ready to be a provider and even ready to be a husband one day! This is the life I always wanted, I just didnt really know I wanted it til now.Its true that my soon to be born daughter wasnt exactly planned but not a mistake because mistakes are something you regret. I regret nothing in my life, and if i missed out on a phase in my life so be it! Im having a kid im not dead, im sure my beautiful girlfriend Sahalie and I will go out and do things still, just not all the time.

Im no fun at parties anyway!

Life is what you make it,make it a good one and regret nothing!
D

Life Changes

My it sure is crazy how life can completely change in just a short amount of time. I find myself lost in a sea of changing currents, however there does seem to be a few guiding lights to help guide me out of the murky waters,

As some of my inner circle knows, my life has been absolutely insane for the past 5 or so months. First, a little over 5 months ago I met my beautiful girlfriend Sahalie. She is amazing and perhaps one of the greatest people I know.

About a month and a half after she and I became an us, my 91 year old great grandmother Molly passed away. I had been living with her for quite a while, at first because I wanted to but towards the end because I needed to, as she needed help and I willingly took up the mantle of caring for her. It was hard when she passed, as I wasnt so used to being in the house that I was living with her in, but Sahalie was my saving grace. Ever since she got sick and I had to rush her to the hospital she was staying with me in the house..and eventually her staying became permanent as I asked her to live with me full time.

I know some think it to be crazy how we date for a month and a half and move in together but she helped me through my grief and sadness..and now we could not be any happier together and are looking forward to whatever life throws at us…together.

Now, the newest thing in my life is that due to circumstances beyond my control, Sahalie and I have to move out and find a new place to live. Up until now we had been living in my Great Grandmothers house. We knew that we were gonna have to move but just not when. We know now and are in the process of finding our first place together.

There is also some more news that most in my deep inner circle know, but I am not going to share it so publicly. There will be some sort of public announcement soon but til then its on a need to know basis

Piece of advice people…have your older relatives stay away from reverse mortgages…they are a scam that preys on older people to get their houses when they die

stay safe out there

D