Things ive discovered about fatherhood

  1. Diaper changes are not nearly as dramatic as advertised…most of the time (those blowouts can get pretty messy though
  2. We can all learn a little from babies..they like to just sit there and laugh for no reason and we all could use a little of that.
  3. When you have a child, no matter what you do, you must be sure that the baby is okay..from taking a shower to making a sandwich to finally drifting off to sleep.
  4. 8 hours sleep is overrated…4 or 5 hours with small naps throughout the day is just as good!
  5. I have a whole new appreciation for my fiance. She is definitely the strong one in this relationship as I never had to push a person out of me!
  6. After you have a child, you tend to forget to do something…like eat, or shower or change out of your pajamas
  7. Im so thankful for having a girl! No projectile pee has gotten on me!!!!
  8. Even in the most tender moment you have with your child, be prepared for the inevitable spit up (if you dont want any on you, dont have a child)
  9. Always be vigilant! Even when they are sleeping peacefully, they can wake up at a moments notice and be sure they are hungry, and upset!.
  10. Get a swing…they are lifesavers when you need somewhere to set them down that wont make them upset.
  11. Weight and height percentiles were invented to scare parents into thinking their child is unhealthy. As long as they are growing and gaining weight, there is little to worry about
  12. I now know what sleeping like a baby looks like…I wish I could do that still!
  13. Even when I go somewhere alone, I still check the backseat to get the baby out, and I also sometimes forget to grab her when we go somewhere…
  14. Appreciate date night when you can do it…its okay to let the baby be watched by someone else,just not for too long
  15. Pets are not acceptable babysitters..they are sometimes more baby than the baby!
  16. Let other people hold the baby! but be fair cause usually everybody wants a turn
  17. Maintaining your relationship with your partner is still important! Do something sweet, bring home flowers, take the baby to let her sleep and kiss her goodbye!
  18. Not every friend you have is gonna be so accepting of the fact that your now a father..if friendships need to end then let it cause it happens!
  19. Always take pictures..you will treasure those moments
  20. Enjoy every minute of your new life…your a father now and forever and you get to watch your little one grow into a more perfect version of yourself and your partner..what could be better!!!

To Pick A President

That time is upon us again. For the first time in 8 years, The United States Presidential Primaries and nomination process has begun anew for both the Democratic and Republican parties. I have always been fascinated with our Presidential Election season as it is just so interesting and hard not to follow.

I am not just your average voter. Though I am registered as a democrat, I will vote for the nominee that I feel is best for the country. Eight years ago I watched then Senator Barack Obama talk about his candidacy for President on The Tonight Show. I researched and followed him and voted for him in the Oregon Primary over Hilary Clinton and then again in the Presidential Election over Senator John McCain. If Clinton won the nomination I would of had no problem voting for McCain with more research and thought. I voted again for the incumbent President Obama over Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney again because I felt Romney would not make as great a President. Though my voting record and many of my beliefs indicate I am liberal, I do not let myself be defined with a political party. If something I believe in happens to be more on the conservative side, so be it.

When we entered this primary season,my liberal voting registration led me to follow the Democratic Primaries more than the Republican, but I was a little underwhelmed. Hilary Clinton was the only candidate I knew about , and I felt like Clinton still wasnt a great candidate. She seemed elitist, and like the same democratic cookie cutter candidate she was eight years ago. I have no problem at all with a woman one day being president, just not her…she isnt the right one and I felt that she is trying to use her position as a woman running for president to get votes from certain crosssections of society. I didnt feel I had a great candidate..until, Enter Bernie Sanders.

I found out about Senator Bernie Sanders from a blurb in my local paper that said he declared his candidacy. I had no idea who he was, being from a state on the other side of the country from his and even less of an idea what he stood for. So, over time I heard more and more about him so I decided to look him up, and I started to like him more and more. Then I watched him on the first debate, and through the endless pandering to Hilary Clinton that the news network covering it was doing, I saw that he was a person who stuck to his laurels and didnt change just to appease voters and I liked him more and more…so I am proud to say that I feel the bern!!!

Now I want to be clear about something..I am not supporting Bernie Sanders because he is promising me free stuff! I am not expecting to be able to go to college for free, I have health insurance through my work for my daughter and I (and my soon to be wife).I doubt that the minimum wage will ever get nationally pushed to 15 dollars an hour. I dont expect a future President Sanders to initiate a sweeping change in the US government. No, the Senate and House would prevent any change, be it good or bad from changing in this country..especially if it involves lightening their wallets.

I support Bernie Sanders because he isnt a cookie cutter Presidential Candidate. He isnt going to pander to big business or the Super PACs or even his own party (though he is in actuality an Independent).

He is a Democratic Socialist, and before you say “Isnt that like communism?” look it up. Franklin Delano Roosevelt, one of the best Presidents in history was a Democratic Socialist. Now I am in no way insinuating that Sanders will be another FDR but that people should really do their research before making assumptions.

Bernie Sanders is a rogue (but not in the same “in your face” way as Republican candidate Donald Trump). He doesnt follow the Democratic Party hard line and that is refreshing to me..because in the last 16 years of 8 years of Bush and 8 years of Obama, very little has changed in the US..and if this Government is not gonna collapse in on itself it needs to

 

Feel the Bern,

D

 


The Jaded States of America

There has been a tragedy in this country..one among many that have happened in the last few years. Last week, a crazed and mentally unstable man opened fire in a community college in the town of Roseburg,Oregon. He killed ten people and wounded many more before taking his own life. In the wake of this horrendous tragedy one would expect the people of this great country of ours, where patriotism and compassion are supposed to be the hallmarks of a great american citizen…and yet that is not what we got.

Instead of uniting in support for the wounded and the families of the deceased, this country has yet again erupted into a civil war of words over gun rights. The pro gun people take this as “oh god the liberals are gonna try to take my guns away cause somebody shot a bunch of people, i must yell loudly about it” and the anti gun people are saying “oh my god,more gun control laws are needed I must yell about this” and both sides wont stop arguing about it…and it makes me very upset.

This country is completely obsessed with guns,so obsessed that we feel a mass shooting is the perfect time to bring up this argument. Before anybody starts calling me a “tree hugging liberal” or a “gun toting redneck” I will tell you that I am not going to talk about my stance on the subject, as I feel that the time or place for this argument is not now.

I will agree with a few points with both sides though…It is true that even the strictest gun laws will not prevent criminals from getting ahold of guns, and a majority of people who own guns are responsible with them;also that something has to be done about how certain people get ahold of firearms as too many mentally unstable people are using them,,as for what I dont know and I will not speculate. Also,mental health in this country (and most healthcare) is simply deplorable.

This gun control argument that is causing some people I know who are friends to get visibly angry with eachother and has ended a few friendships im sure stems from a deeper rooted problem in this country. The USA has got just so damn jaded and intolerant of other peoples opinion

I love America, I was born here and raised here and I happen to think that our government system that we created by the people for the people is one of the best government systems ever created in world history. We can say what we want and do what we want (within the confines of the law) and where different opinions are supposed to be welcomed..but not anymore. We have become so intolerant of anybody who has a opinion that is different than your own.Both Liberals and Conservatives alike cannot put aside their differences on any subject, even in support of a tragedy. We feel that everything that happens is grounds to start a fight. I see articles on the shooting posted online and it is filled with republican supporters mocking liberals for their stances on guns and some even suggesting violence against people who disagree. I see endless memes on facebook about both pro and anti gun sentiment. I see people suggesting that they boycott the president from offering his support for the families of the victims..it is sickening that people would use this event for such a thing.

End the debate! Lets save it for another time! Lets just offer our support for the victims and their families. If you wanna do something then go and volunteer or donate to help the victims and the families. Stop with the endless memes and quotes from the celebrities supporting their sides and stop with the damn fighting!!! This is why other countries hate america so much..because we have a mass shooting and start arguing with eachother about who is responsible.

Time and place people..time and place

D


Unwritten guides to fatherhood

Life has a funny way of catching up to you..and by catching up I mean roaring up from behind in a Porsche and screeching to a halt in front of you. Here I sit, almost exactly 2 months away from the birth of my daughter…from my first child..and I ponder what it means to be a father.

When we look for examples of what fatherhood means, most people often look to examples close to home, as in lessons from our own parental figures.

My father, Lon was a good father to me, and he still is. He has 4 children, myself, who is his oldest and im 26;my younger brother who is 24, my stepsister who he adopted as his own and as far as we are all concerned she is my sister and she is 23 and my youngest half-brother who is 17. Dad has always had to work, for as long as I have been alive he has worked 6 days a week for long hours in order to best provide for our family. Even when my brother and I lived with our mom and we were only with him part time he worked like that. Dad makes a lot of personal sacrifices in order to best keep the family safe,healthy and happy, and one would think that is what a father would do and has to do.

When I was younger I don’t think I fully appreciated everything Dad did for us. I was a teenager and I didnt have everything that a lot of my peers in high school had..no Ipod,no cell phone and I had to earn the right to get my permit and license(which I never did with him, I got it when I turned 18). I wasnt upset about this, I didnt lash out and rebel but I was jealous of my peers and wished we could afford to get all those luxuries but I stayed grounded.

I think what it means to be a father is to be able to put your child and your family above all else, including yourself and often at the expense of your health, wealth and own personal happiness. To work long hours, come home and take care of what you need to and then go to sleep until you are needed again. My father always did this, and I never really appreciated it until now that I am on the cusp of being a father myself.

Will I be successful at being a father? I would hope I would but only time will tell. I am however very excited about it, and am having no delusions of grandeur about running from this or skirting my new responsibilities. My daughter, Mikaila Ann Knieriem will come into the world and be very loved by everyone around her, and especially by her father and mother. I still have some time to prepare for her birth physically and mentally (not even close to the physically as her mother though ha ha)

So to sum it all up, I am so happy for the lessons on fatherhood I learned from my own father and all the other fathers I have been around in my life. I will take their lessons to heart but my parenting style will be my own..good or bad I will pass this test..after all I have to

have a good day

D


Your 20s and how people perceive them

Hi, my name is Devin. I am twenty six years old, in a long term relationship that is going on 9 months (and is definitely leading to more) and here I sit 2 months and some days away from the birth of my girlfriend and my first child..a daughter we named Mikaila Ann, and I am perfectly happy with how things turned out.

Ever since I actually turned twenty years old all I hear about is how your twenties are supposed to be spent (especially after you turn 21) Many people have the idea that your twenties are supposed to be a time of discovery;of having fun with almost all legal restrictions that are on minors lifted. I still know a fair amount of people that like to spend their nights bar hopping in Downtown Eugene and drinking shots and expensive beers and taking a cab home (if they go to their home….). In all honesty I was never really suited for that life..the partying life that many other 20somethings like to live..Dont get me wrong, I did my share of it.

Before I met Sahalie and started down this current path I am on, I wasnt exactly your standard young adult anyway. I had trouble finding a good job until I was 23 and found my current job and also up until last December I was living and helping to take care of my elderly Great-Grandmother. When I did go out, in some cases I would go out by myself and see a rock show downtown, drink a couple beers and go home by 11 or 1130. On some occasions, one of my best friends would invite me out for a night with some of his friends to go out drinking. The people we went out with were his friends…its not that I felt unwanted, but I most of the time felt unnoticed, and that is simply because they didnt know me very well. Im sure that I could of gotten to know most of these people better but my working nights only gave me two night a week to go out doing anything, and it was mostly one night because my first night off would be reserved for me catching up on sleep.

Still yet when I would go out, I would never drink very much. I still lived with my grandmother and I felt it disrespectful to stumble in the house, drunk and pass out on the floor. I was so careful about my alcohol intake that I would use an app on my phone to keep track of my alcohol intake and my Blood Alcohol Intake.

My point of writing this being that I was never suited to the fast partying, loose and fun lifestyle that seems to be almost advertised (in media) as the way to be in your twenties. I was always cautious,and careful and didnt want to make a fool of myself in public. I was never suited to date around..Sahalie is my first true long term relationship and I dont honestly want anyone else. I believe I am well suited to be a father. I want it. People keep asking me “arent you freaking out, you’re young to be having a baby, and young to be a family man…you know what? I am not freaking out because whats there to freak out about! Im ready to be a father, im ready to be a provider and even ready to be a husband one day! This is the life I always wanted, I just didnt really know I wanted it til now.Its true that my soon to be born daughter wasnt exactly planned but not a mistake because mistakes are something you regret. I regret nothing in my life, and if i missed out on a phase in my life so be it! Im having a kid im not dead, im sure my beautiful girlfriend Sahalie and I will go out and do things still, just not all the time.

Im no fun at parties anyway!

Life is what you make it,make it a good one and regret nothing!
D


Life Changes

My it sure is crazy how life can completely change in just a short amount of time. I find myself lost in a sea of changing currents, however there does seem to be a few guiding lights to help guide me out of the murky waters,

As some of my inner circle knows, my life has been absolutely insane for the past 5 or so months. First, a little over 5 months ago I met my beautiful girlfriend Sahalie. She is amazing and perhaps one of the greatest people I know.

About a month and a half after she and I became an us, my 91 year old great grandmother Molly passed away. I had been living with her for quite a while, at first because I wanted to but towards the end because I needed to, as she needed help and I willingly took up the mantle of caring for her. It was hard when she passed, as I wasnt so used to being in the house that I was living with her in, but Sahalie was my saving grace. Ever since she got sick and I had to rush her to the hospital she was staying with me in the house..and eventually her staying became permanent as I asked her to live with me full time.

I know some think it to be crazy how we date for a month and a half and move in together but she helped me through my grief and sadness..and now we could not be any happier together and are looking forward to whatever life throws at us…together.

Now, the newest thing in my life is that due to circumstances beyond my control, Sahalie and I have to move out and find a new place to live. Up until now we had been living in my Great Grandmothers house. We knew that we were gonna have to move but just not when. We know now and are in the process of finding our first place together.

There is also some more news that most in my deep inner circle know, but I am not going to share it so publicly. There will be some sort of public announcement soon but til then its on a need to know basis

Piece of advice people…have your older relatives stay away from reverse mortgages…they are a scam that preys on older people to get their houses when they die

stay safe out there

D


Molly

I somewhat recently had a major loss in my life.My Great-Grandmother, who I have known and been partially raised by passed away a little more than two months ago today. I know it has been two months and some might say “she was old, get over it” you dont just get over things like that…ever

Her name was Molly Faulhaber and she was born on August 20,1923 (though she would of told you very differently). Since she was around for so long, she had a hand in helping raise three generations..My own (My younger brother,three cousins and myself), My mothers (Mom and my aunt Cathy) and my grandfather John Jr.

She is what we would call our Family Matriarch. We had all our family gatherings at her house, and it was mainly because of her that our family even got together at any time. Every major holiday (Christmas Eve,Thanksgiving,Easter) we would all gather at Grandmas house, eat a delicious dinner that she usually cooked, and be a family.She was always happy to cook and host those evenings because she loved her family and loved hosting us.

Grandma Faulhaber had a pretty interesting life, I remember all the stories she used to tell me, from things about when she was a teenager and WW2 broke out, when President Kennedy (one of her favorites) was shot and so many things. Though I will admit that I didnt find all of her stories interesting (she is very opinionated about many things) I am happy that I got to hear them. She lived an incredible life and I am glad I got to hear of it.

When my mom died in 2003, Grandma even offered to take care of us and let us live with her for the rest of our school years. Though we would end up going to live with our Dad anyway, it was pretty incredible that her, in her late 70s at the time would be willing to take care of 2 teenage boys was pretty great..she was selfless like that.

For the last seven years, I was living with her. At first I moved in with her after I turned 18 and decided that I wanted to move back to Eugene from my Dads in Canby in order to graduate high school with my best friends. She took me in without a second thought, all i needed to do was ask. After high school I went to college for a few years. I wasnt at first as I didnt have money for such things but she told me that she would help and that I pay her back when I get a job(which i did). Though I didnt take a full course load at community college (I didnt want to ask her to pay that much) it was incredible for her to do that. I later found out that she actually took out a loan from her bank to help with that. She didnt tell me she did, she just did. She also helped me get my drivers license and learn to drive among many other things. Later, when I decided to quit college and get a job, she put up with me while I was broke and jobless looking for work.It was hard for a while but she didnt put me out on my ass. But,however in her last years I lived with her because she needed help. I had a good job and I could of moved to my own place, but she needed my help, so I at 24 and 25 years old, the age that a lot of guys are living up the single, 20somethings life,I was taking care of my 90 year old grandmother.  It made dating hard, as many women wouldnt look past the fact that I was not living at my own place, but I didnt care as she helped me so I needed to return the favor.

Im not going to go on about how she died. She died after living a full life where she to got know her Great-Grandchildren and almost was able to get to know Great-Great Grandchildren. She lived through 9 decades and saw the world change drastically around her,saw things like The Great Depression.WW2,The Cold War,9/11 and many other events that shaped history, saw 15 presidents elected,2 get shot,one resign ,one nearly get kicked out of office and one become the first African-American President (much to her chagrin unfortunately). When she was born, TVs were still an idea and the Internet wasnt even a thing. She raised a son and grandchildren and great grandchildren and never asked for a dime. She lived an incredible life and im happy to have known her

Rest in peace Molly Faulhaber August 20,1923-December 25th 2014


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