Unwritten guides to fatherhood

Life has a funny way of catching up to you..and by catching up I mean roaring up from behind in a Porsche and screeching to a halt in front of you. Here I sit, almost exactly 2 months away from the birth of my daughter…from my first child..and I ponder what it means to be a father.

When we look for examples of what fatherhood means, most people often look to examples close to home, as in lessons from our own parental figures.

My father, Lon was a good father to me, and he still is. He has 4 children, myself, who is his oldest and im 26;my younger brother who is 24, my stepsister who he adopted as his own and as far as we are all concerned she is my sister and she is 23 and my youngest half-brother who is 17. Dad has always had to work, for as long as I have been alive he has worked 6 days a week for long hours in order to best provide for our family. Even when my brother and I lived with our mom and we were only with him part time he worked like that. Dad makes a lot of personal sacrifices in order to best keep the family safe,healthy and happy, and one would think that is what a father would do and has to do.

When I was younger I don’t think I fully appreciated everything Dad did for us. I was a teenager and I didnt have everything that a lot of my peers in high school had..no Ipod,no cell phone and I had to earn the right to get my permit and license(which I never did with him, I got it when I turned 18). I wasnt upset about this, I didnt lash out and rebel but I was jealous of my peers and wished we could afford to get all those luxuries but I stayed grounded.

I think what it means to be a father is to be able to put your child and your family above all else, including yourself and often at the expense of your health, wealth and own personal happiness. To work long hours, come home and take care of what you need to and then go to sleep until you are needed again. My father always did this, and I never really appreciated it until now that I am on the cusp of being a father myself.

Will I be successful at being a father? I would hope I would but only time will tell. I am however very excited about it, and am having no delusions of grandeur about running from this or skirting my new responsibilities. My daughter, Mikaila Ann Knieriem will come into the world and be very loved by everyone around her, and especially by her father and mother. I still have some time to prepare for her birth physically and mentally (not even close to the physically as her mother though ha ha)

So to sum it all up, I am so happy for the lessons on fatherhood I learned from my own father and all the other fathers I have been around in my life. I will take their lessons to heart but my parenting style will be my own..good or bad I will pass this test..after all I have to

have a good day

D

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Your 20s and how people perceive them

Hi, my name is Devin. I am twenty six years old, in a long term relationship that is going on 9 months (and is definitely leading to more) and here I sit 2 months and some days away from the birth of my girlfriend and my first child..a daughter we named Mikaila Ann, and I am perfectly happy with how things turned out.

Ever since I actually turned twenty years old all I hear about is how your twenties are supposed to be spent (especially after you turn 21) Many people have the idea that your twenties are supposed to be a time of discovery;of having fun with almost all legal restrictions that are on minors lifted. I still know a fair amount of people that like to spend their nights bar hopping in Downtown Eugene and drinking shots and expensive beers and taking a cab home (if they go to their home….).┬áIn all honesty I was never really suited for that life..the partying life that many other 20somethings like to live..Dont get me wrong, I did my share of it.

Before I met Sahalie and started down this current path I am on, I wasnt exactly your standard young adult anyway. I had trouble finding a good job until I was 23 and found my current job and also up until last December I was living and helping to take care of my elderly Great-Grandmother. When I did go out, in some cases I would go out by myself and see a rock show downtown, drink a couple beers and go home by 11 or 1130. On some occasions, one of my best friends would invite me out for a night with some of his friends to go out drinking. The people we went out with were his friends…its not that I felt unwanted, but I most of the time felt unnoticed, and that is simply because they didnt know me very well. Im sure that I could of gotten to know most of these people better but my working nights only gave me two night a week to go out doing anything, and it was mostly one night because my first night off would be reserved for me catching up on sleep.

Still yet when I would go out, I would never drink very much. I still lived with my grandmother and I felt it disrespectful to stumble in the house, drunk and pass out on the floor. I was so careful about my alcohol intake that I would use an app on my phone to keep track of my alcohol intake and my Blood Alcohol Intake.

My point of writing this being that I was never suited to the fast partying, loose and fun lifestyle that seems to be almost advertised (in media) as the way to be in your twenties. I was always cautious,and careful and didnt want to make a fool of myself in public. I was never suited to date around..Sahalie is my first true long term relationship and I dont honestly want anyone else. I believe I am well suited to be a father. I want it. People keep asking me “arent you freaking out, you’re young to be having a baby, and young to be a family man…you know what? I am not freaking out because whats there to freak out about! Im ready to be a father, im ready to be a provider and even ready to be a husband one day! This is the life I always wanted, I just didnt really know I wanted it til now.Its true that my soon to be born daughter wasnt exactly planned but not a mistake because mistakes are something you regret. I regret nothing in my life, and if i missed out on a phase in my life so be it! Im having a kid im not dead, im sure my beautiful girlfriend Sahalie and I will go out and do things still, just not all the time.

Im no fun at parties anyway!

Life is what you make it,make it a good one and regret nothing!
D