Happiness (is not a warm gun)

It is great to have talents and passions. My talents and passions are kinda simple but I have noticed that lately I have been shying away from them, but this afternoon I decided no more. Ever since I started working at Winco almost 7 months ago I have been slowly and slowly not writing as much as I used to. I used to write all of the time, and now its just every now and then, but I think thats a terrible thing. I have been working on my fantasy novel “Giara Chronicles” for about 4 years now and im only 260 pages in. it is my new goal to have the first of my series (I have 3 planned novels to write) by my birthday in June. I also need to read more..I just recently finished reading the last book in the Hunger Games series (not as good as the first two) and I think now im really gonna start reading some of this massive pile of books that I have picked up over the last few months…probably start with Game Of Thrones by George R.R. Martin .

I am not really why I am posting something like this as it just seems to be yammering on about things that nobody but me cares about but not many people read this blog anyway so its not like I have a loyal following!

I ordered a new bumper sticker for my car the other day. Since I named my car “Penny Lane” after the Beatles song I ordered the Magical Mystery Tour” album cover bumper sticker..gonna look way cool! I think I am gonna deck out my car in cool bumper stickers, but none of the lame, cliched ones with sayings..probably a bunch of band logos and things like that

thanks for reading


A Life Unknown

Do you ever think about your future? Like what will your life be like in 5 years? Ten? Twenty even?

As a twentysomething that still has a lot of life left to live I can’t say that I have ever really thought deeply about my future because I already thought I had it mostly figured out. However, as it turns out I do not anymore.

I always thought that what I really want to do is to be a journalist working for a mid size paper in either New York,San Francisco or New Orleans. Truth is, I dont know about journalism as a career anymore. Its not that I dont think I could do it, because I love it still and writing about current events is something I could see myself doing…but I am just so turned off to becoming a member of the media now…

Modern journalism disgusts me so much because it is all about sensationalism and telling you “all the chilling details”. Open the paper nowadays or go online and you will see a lot of stories about “The fugitive ex cop” or “The Newtown Shooter” (I refuse to say their names out of respect for their victims) or you can read all about whatever news some reality celebrity is creating…you dont hear about things that are actual news. I do not want to hear about what the Newtown Shooters friends said about him, I dont want to read that cops manifesto about how he wants to kill cops, I do not want to hear about Kim Kardashians baby..I want to hear about the recovery from the Russian meteor; I want to hear about the escalation in action from North Korea and their threat to bring “Final Destruction” to South Korea; I want to hear about actual news and not some asinine story about celebrities. I want media to stop telling us every detail of all these recent killers lives and to quit making them famous..because that is exactly what they wanted to happen…now these men will go down in history as shooters and killers and their victims will become, in the case of the Newtown,Connecticut shooter “one of the 26 people killed by this madman”

In addition to concerns about becoming part of an industry that isnt very respected anymore, I just find myself not knowing…Where do I see myself in 5 years? I really hope that I am not working graveyard at Winco anymore…I hope that I am making more than 10 dollars an hour..I really hope I have a job actually…I hope im not stuck in Eugene anymore and I am self-supporting and maybe I hope to be in some kind of long term relationship…but I dont know if any of those things will change

I have thought about what I could do besides Journalism..its so hard because I used to have a list of things I thought I could do, but some of them are unrealistic..I have thought I could be a teacher though..not to smaller kids, but maybe high school. I am really good with historical facts, writing and reading are a big passion of mine and I can eloquently explain many things about those two things but I have very little patience

Where do I hope my life will end up? I hope to have a good, steady job that isnt working at a retail store somewhere, I hope to be living somewhere that isnt Eugene. I want to wake up each day and say “my life is awesome”…Marriage and kids? I dunno…being single at this time kind of makes those kind of things hard to see

enjoy life because you never know where it will lead


What never was…

Do you ever wonder what would happen if things in your life had turned out differently? Life is a crossroads with sometimes more than 2 paths….ever branching paths. If you believe in the multi-universe theory than there is someone who is living the same life as you but things turned out much differently for them.

For most of my elementary school years I lived in Springfield. I went to Guy Lee, and then Page Elementary for most of my early education years (besides one year at Riverbend Elementary for 3rd grade). My best friend was a girl named Blair and we were inseparable for most of the time. I had a lot of friends and had built my own life over there and then all of a sudden I moved and started going to Awbrey Park Elementary in Eugene.about a quarter of the way through 5th grade I moved and I never saw Blair or any of the people I knew from that life again I often wonder how differently my life would of turned out if I had never moved.

I guess if i never moved then I would of stayed in Ms. Rodericks class. and finished the DARE program that Springfield schools were so proud of. I would of ended up promoting to Middle school and going to whatever middle school that Page Elementary students went to. Would my friendship with Blair have continued or who knows. progressed into something more?  Would I have the same passions and interests that I do now?

What would of happened to my life if my mom had gotten better, if I would of stayed in Eugene, promoted from Madison Middle School and went all 4 years to North Eugene. Would I still be friends with Ben and Chad when we went to the same school or would we have drifted apart? Would I act different than I do now? Would I have done better or worse in school? would I have still met all the people I met in my senior year of high school?

Maybe im rambling a bit but im a bit sentimental I guess. Truth be told i am perfectly happy with the way my life turned out…good or bad im happy with being the person that I am…maybe alternate universe Devin is an asshole who a lot of people hate? Be happy with the person that you are, good or bad, you are who you are and not much can change that.

still though its perfectly okay to wonder…what if???