Chapter 2: Separation AnxietyPosted: October 9, 2014
Marriage is really a changed thing these days, and it was in the early 90s. Half of all married people end up divorced (in sure it was slightly different in the 90s though) but that was no exception for my parents.
With our constant moving that we did I cannot say that I ever really had a “neighborhood I grew up in”. The closest thing I had to that was Great-Grandma Faulhaber’s neighborhood, which with Brandon and I constantly visited over the years. sometime In 1993 or 1994 we moved again, this time to some podunk little town in Northern Oregon called Boring.
Before you ask, yes the town is as boring as it sounds. We lived in some small place out in what seemed like the middle of nowhere. In fact, on the first night we were there I remember hearing coyotes outside of our house…thats how remote it was, but when you are a four year old kid who doesn’t go anywhere without your parents, having a fun town to live in is not exactly an issue. But in any case, we were all one big. happy family (at least it appeared that way).
Now if my parents had issues in their marriage, not a lot of it was obvious to me, as they both did a very good job not hashing out their issues in front of my brother and I…but they did have issues. I do remember a few fights they had, but as far as I knew it never got physical. Honestly, if it ever did, my bet would be on my mom doing the hitting as my Dad is an eternal pacifist and my Mom had quite a temper.However though, whatever issues that they had, they eventually came to a head as they got divorced, as for the timeframe, I don’t know but I know it was before I started kindergarten.
Im gonna honestly say, as I look about 20 years later, I don’t think my parents were ever really that good together. They were only married for about 4 or 5 years before they separated, and I know they had their fights, and had conflicting personalities. They did have me though, and my mom was pregnant before they were married so im guessing having me might of been a reason for them to hurry and get married, and then they had Brandon as well, but my parents were not really meant for eachother, and that is fine. Not every family is perfect and I know if they would of stayed married for my brother and my sake that both of them would of suffered, and as a domino effect it might of spilled out into my brother and my life, (not in any abuse kind of way mind you) and at least they had the sense to end it before things got really bad and I do thank both of them for being adults about it. I didnt expect a white picket fence kind of life anyway. At least I didnt have to grow up in Boring!!!!
Brandon and I went with Mom and left Dad in Boring to go back to Eugene. At first we lived with Grandma while we looked for a place, which meant that I would start school at nearby Awbrey Park Elementary for Kindergarten.
Having our separated parents was interesting. Obviously, Brandon and I were to live with our Mom and Dad got to take us up with him every other weekend. I remember that Brandon and I actually really liked visiting with Dad back then ,as it was a lot of fun between the three of us. We would go up with him, rent a movie and buy a pizza and have some family bonding between the three of us, it was actually a lot of fun!
I dont remember or know anything about the divorce proceedings, Dad didnt try to fight for custody as far as I know and Brandon and I were not at all involved in any of it (we never talked to attorneys or judges or anything). The most I remember of it was on the day their divorce went final, my mom called up my dad and said happily (and perhaps a bit mockingly) “Happy Divorce Day Lon”!!! That was just like her…she had a bit of an attitude about her…